Micro Cosmic Circuit

In my meditations I have been trying to better understand the cosmic orbit, or flow of energy in the body. There is a flow of energy that runs along the front centerline of the body, down into the dan tien, through the pelvis, and up along the back centerline of the body. These both flow very superficially along the spine, and include the chakras. there is one more deep channel the runs along the middle of the spine, and carries the most energy.

I have come to experience that the dan tien holds my center, my grounding, calm energy. When I operate from this space, I am secure, calm, loving, and centered. When I operate from the heart center, things are much more chaotic and easily changing. The dan tien grounds me, and my heart expresses and feels the energy around me. I think of the heart as feeling the energy of the world around me, and my dan tien as holding my primordial energy, the place where I can find safety.

I have a tendency to not want to fully acknowledge certain emotions, especially anger and grief. Those happen to be the two emotions that I have battled with in the past, the ones that come up the most often. I am trying to hold them in my awareness while I meditate, to see them for what they have to say to me, and to not judge or attach to them.

Today I felt that my anger sits high on my body, along my neck and shoulders. When I dont fully recognize it, it weighs me down, and blocks my energy along those pathways. Grief sits below it, heavier and denser, along the heart area. AGain, if not recognized it creates a sense of heaviness, and further blockage. I think the key is to see them, feel them, bring them into my meditation and down into my dan tien, so that the front channel can move smoothly. Then, with the wisdom of my dan tien, let the energy run along the back of my body into the grief and anger, infusing them with wisdom, and with the ability to act differently because of those emotions.

I struggle with integrating all of my emotions into my theoretical framework, because I still attach negative and positive to my emotional state, especially if it steers me away from being loving and peaceful. Energetically though, they just are what they are, and must be processed accordingly.

I struggle to end my suffering, which in turn causes more suffering. Sometimes its just so hard to get out of the way!!

Perhaps I need to remove all labels, sit with whatever energy is around me, and just be. Without the label of being a negative, potentially dangerous emotion, what would my anger really feel like?