The New Year

So far, the new year has been largely symbolic of what I hope the year will be. I have spent the entire weekend by myself, except for trips to the gym, and to the grocery store. I have eaten very well, including sticking to my goal of a gluten free diet. I have rearranged two rooms, organized and scrubbed the kitchen, and am finally sleeping back in the master bedroom.

In essence, I am reclaiming this house as my own house, with no strings attached to anyone else. I am feeling the freedom of choice now, instead of the burden of responsibility. I can do whatever I want to my house, and knowing that, I am getting all sorts of strange ideas. Still, it's liberating to let go of past pain and habits, and to step into the shoes of the person I have the capacity to be.

I don't know what this year will bring. I don't know how long I will be single, or what will happen with work, or school, or family. And that's ok. If I just take it one day at a time, and do the things I need to do in order to be the person I want to be, then I am on the right path.

Being on the right path, I think, is the hard part. It's so easy to get distracted, or let others convince us other paths are better. We all have our journeys, our paths, our lives to be lived in only the way that we can live them, and when we stop being true to ourselves is when we get in trouble.

So what does this mean for me? That I need to meditate daily, that Buddhism is a cornerstone of who I am, that I live in the motto of do no harm, that I eat as healthy as possible and stay active, that I practice compassion, that I am always learning and growing, and that I share myself with my friends and family as I really am. It means that every day I must remember why I am here, that it's a short life, and that everything I do has an effect.

Well, 2010, here we go. Buckle up. It's going to be a wild ride.